Reliving the pain: A United fan’s recount of the most dramatic finish in English Premier League history.

It’s been a few days now, enough time to have had the chance to reflect and attempt to come to terms with what happened between the approximate times of 1.55am and 2.00am Monday morning here in Melbourne. Most football fans will know exactly what I’m referring to but for those oblivious to the charms of the “World Game” as guru Les has befittingly coined it and more specifically the top tier of the sport in England I will painfully (some might say sadistically) re-hash what went down. The reason being that although I’m a diehard fan of the team who eventually had their hearts ripped out, the astonishing crescendo reached that night may never venture as close to fiction again in my lifetime. In any sport.

The race for the 2011/12 English Premier League title had boiled down to the 38th and final round of matches with the two Manchester clubs – United and City – locked on 86 points and everything to play for. City held the advantage via goal differential that barring a freak of nature couldn’t be usurped, so the scenerio was simple for them, win their final match against Queen’s Park Rangers at home and they’d be champions. In fact equalling whatever result United obtained would be enough.

The beauty of the final round is that in order to maintain a level playing field and maximise any potential drama all of the matches are played simultaneously. Of course far more often than not the focus of the final day shifts to the lowest rungs of the table where the fates of the battlers clinging to the financial safety net of TV-money-rich, top tier football are decided. As it happens, Queens Park Rangers were right in the thick of this unenviable mess, facing the fanciful task of improving their atrocious away record in the veritable “house of pain” that is the Etihad Stadium this campaign. City were undefeated there all season, in fact only dropping points on a single occasion (something United did in the previous campaign). Adding another element of spice to this fixture was QPR’s manager Mark Hughes who had been uncerimoniously sacked as City manager in December 2009 and replaced with current head man Roberto Mancini. Hughes also happens to be a Manchester United legend, having played under Sir Alex in the mid 90’s, meaning the incentives for an improbable victory couldn’t have been greater.

For United, another campaign in which they’d been criticised for being inferior to previous incarnations of themselves, yet achieved a points tally that few clubs have ever gotten near seemed to be fizzling out into a disappointing climax. Only 5 weeks earlier with 6 games remaining they’d opened up a commanding 8 point lead at the summit, a position that prompted various betting agencies to pay out on them as champions and Mancini to publicly concede his sides chances of getting up. However after an upset loss at giant killers Wigan and an uncharacteristically sloppy finish to the home game against Everton in which they surrendered a 4-2 lead at the 80 minute mark to draw 4-4 was looking likely to haunt them if they couldn’t hold on. Astonishingly after a lucklustre showing at City where they lost 1-0 it had taken them only 4 games to blow the lead. Perhaps the most bitter pill to swallow was the fact that City’s 6-1 victory way back in October which represented a 10 goal swing in goal difference was now effectively the difference between first and second. United were visiting Sunderland in their season farewell, a club sitting mid table with not a lot to play for in that they were safe from the drop, out of contention for a European place and well adrift of bitter rivals Newcastle.

So dawned the final day in which City were the overwhelming favourites to be crowned champions for the first time in 44 years.

The beauty for sports fans at home on an occasion such as this is that the power of television allows you to choose which of these simultaneous matches you wish to watch and at any time flick between them to check the scores around the grounds. In the case of this see-sawing final day in which the destinies of teams change minute-to-minute I doubt there could ever be a more dramatic example of the rollercoaster of emotion endured by fans in the 90 minutes of a football match. United in real time scored first meaning they were in the position of champions on the live table. City scored just prior to half time putting them back on top at the break. Having gone ahead the likelihood of dropping points to QPR also blew right out. In the minds of the United players and fans, it looked as though the inevitable was well on it’s way.

A few minutes after the commencement of the second half however, the highly improbable happened. QPR scored. Word quickly spread through the United fans in the Stadium of Light, who’d been keeping a close eye on proceedings back in Manchester via radios and smartphones and a roar went up that the United players could only have assumed meant they were back on top. Of course in my loungeroom in Melbourne this was a cue for me to channel down to FoxSports 2 and gleefully enjoy the equaliser that had given us renewed hope. It wasn’t long after returning to the United game however that the commentators informed us that QPR had had a man sent off – Mr Self-Destruction himself Joseph Barton – which sent a surge of frustration through the United army knowing the task of QPR holding out for 35 minutes was going to be hard enough with 11 on the pitch let alone 10. A few minutes later though, the first of 2 miracles occurred. QPR scored again. With 10 men. Away from home. Against the title favourites. The United fans lost their shit. I flicked over and watched the goal being replayed, it was still difficult to believe. All of a sudden with United maintaining a lead over Sunderland it meant City had to score twice to get back in front.

And so the nervousness set in and the clock in the corner of the screen ticked slower and slower. United had squandered numerous opportunities in the first half to put the game to bed early and this continued in the second, painfully leaving the situation in both games on a knife-edge. As the minutes passed I daren’t switch channels to check City’s progress out of fear of jinxing QPR and as long as the United fans at Sunderland remaind stir-free so did I. Towards the end of the 90 the commentators announced there would be 3 minutes of stoppage time in our match and word had it there would be 5 minutes added to City’s. As injury time began I was well and truly dreaming of title number 20. In the 92nd minute of our match, Rio Ferdinand is seen gesturing to the bench, seemingly seeking confirmation that City are still down to which he receives a thumbs up. Moments later though the United fans have their chants interrupted by the news City have pulled back an equaliser. The buffer was gone but surely…they couldn’t score twice in added time…could they? United wrapped up their end of the deal by seeing out the 1-0 result. But now they had to wait for City’s match to end. If QPR could see out the next 2 minutes without conceding, United were champions again. I took a deep breath and switched channel ready to endure what would probably be the longest 2 minutes of my football supporting life. The action was picked up unsurprisingly on the edge of the QPR area where all 10 of their players were camped, the ball found it’s way through to Aguero on the right…my body tensed up as he got it out from his feet and pulled the trigger…it went in…not 5 seconds after I’d changed channel and with what turned out to be the final kick of the season. They’d done the unthinkable. Those c*nts had pulled a United.

Radiohead @ Rod Laver Arena 17/11/12

It’s fair to say I’d been waiting a while for this one.  The last time Radiohead toured this country I was 21, but thanks to Thom’s voice packing it in early on that visit my unused ticket has stared back at me from my pinboard of stubs as a piece of unfinished business for 8 and a half years.  On Saturday night though at the age of 30 and having basically spent my entire 20’s learning to be super cynical about Radiohead tour rumours I finally got to experience them from within the same room.

Kiwis ‘Connan Mockasin’ opened, handpicked by Radiohead for reasons that soon became clear stylistically speaking.  The performance was enough to earmark them as one to keep an eye on but they were only ever going to be a footnote on the evening for most of us in attendance.

So the lights went down and Thom, Ed, Colin, Jonny and Phil arrived on stage to a roar of anticipatory excitement, many in the crowd undoubtedly with stories of enforced patience and longing like my own.  Lotus Flower kicked things off and was immediately followed with Bloom, the 1-2 ‘King of Limbs’ punch serving as an early statement that this tour isn’t some career victory parade, Radiohead are very much focused on ‘the now’.

It’s always been part of the band’s personality to do things on their terms and the setlist is no different. New material like ‘The Daily Mail’ and ‘Ful Stop’ was showcased, the sort of songs you’re either slightly miffed are coming at the expense of some back catalogue gold or are intrigued by and hope they’ll turn out to be classics heard in their earliest incarnations.

‘Planet Telex’ is the only song included from the first 2 albums, a disappointing stat on paper considering the greatness of ‘The Bends’ but in truth the performance itself transcended any niggling regrets about specific tracks I’d hoped to hear.  After all, they haven’t forged their legendary reputation by pandering to the masses with ‘hits’.

It’s difficult not to become pre-occupied with Thom Yorke.  His voice often tells the story more by tone than discernable lyrics, the inimitable trumpcard in the band’s considerable arsenal.  I was blown away by it’s quality, songs like ‘Nude’, ‘How To Disappear Completely’ and ‘Exit Music (For a Film)’ showcasing it’s note perfect tenderness that had 15,000+ staring in silent fixation.  When the rest of the band cranked into gear it was Yorke’s dancing that grabbed the attention, largely for it’s complete lack of inhibition.

For the most part Phil Selway was kept company at stage rear by Colin Greenwood and a guest drummer, introduced simply as Clive who beefed up the rhythm section with an extra kit.  Ed O’Brien and Jonny Greenwood flanked the stage occupying worlds all their own, immersed in the precision of their cognitive tasks, seemingly oblivious to the sum output of their efforts.

The live set re-inforces just how versatile they are.  Switching between piano ballads, proggy electronic numbers and bursts of guitar rock yet always sounding like nobody but themselves. ‘Paranoid Android’ was rolled out in it’s 3-phases of glory, a song that sits at the apex of all we love about the band with it’s blend of bleak drama, forward thinking and classic riffs.  Hearing it live is a bucket list fulfilling moment..

For all the emotional intensity of the music the band were quite the contrary between songs. Talk was kept to a minimum but when the occasional word was uttered it was usually delivered with a tension alleviating sillyness that induced chuckles from the audience.  Yorke at one point dryly offering: “If you’re wondering why I’m wearing a tie, it’s cos I have a job interview after this.”

The impassioned ovation that commenced after Idioteque had capped the first encore and continued long after Yorke alone had re-emerged to kick off another was amazing.  It was as sincere an outpouring of gratitude and adoration I’ve ever seen for a band and you get the feeling is the kick of inspiration that makes the slog at the end of a gruelling world tour all worth it for them.  Shortly after this the night come to a close with ‘Everything In It’s Right Place’ and personally, those words have rarely rung truer.

Setlist:

1.Lotus Flower

2. Bloom

3. There There

4. The Daily Mail

5. Myxomatosis

6. The Gloaming

7. Separator

8. Kid A

9. How To Disappear Completely

10. Nude

11. Weird Fishes/Arpeggi

12. Ful Stop

13. You And Whose Army?

14. Paranoid Android

15. Feral

16. Bodysnatchers

Encore

17. Exit Music (For A Film)

18. These Are My Twisted Words

19. Pyramid Song

20. Planet Telex

21. Idioteque

Encore 2

22. Give Up The Ghost

23. Reckoner

24. Everything In It’s Right Place

Gold Fields – Treehouse

Ballarat chaps GOLD FIELDS recently unleashed their shiny new video for ‘Treehouse’ onto Youtube which at the time of writing had been viewed just over 230,000 times in 4 days. The people have spoken, these guys are going places.

Shot in LA earlier this year on the back of shows in Austin for South By South West and an appearance at the Aussie BBQ, it’s a clip with a budget befitting a young band on the rise. The thunderous drumming, cowbell infused percussion and hooded Stonecutter choir of handclaps underpinning this tune are offset with some atmospheric keys that permeate the smoke-filled dream sequence of a video. It’s random imagery takes us through a hazy forest of spandex clad workout girls, animal masked hospital visitors, bouncing tribesmen and an evil-eyed unicorn amongst other things, while the band themselves strut their stuff at the centre of it all.

A standout from their self-titled debut EP released at the back end of last year, the lush layered sound produced by the 5-piece on ‘Treehouse’ brings to mind the indie dance rock of bands like Friendly Fires and Delorean. Fingers crossed having recently wrapped up some regional shows on the Groovin the Moo tour, we’ll hear a full length release out of these lads asap.

Dan Deacon – True Thrush

Dan Deacon is a self confessed ‘nerd’, but gone are the days when the use of this term with derogatory implications has any traction. In fact it’s probably fair to say the label has taken a 180 degree turn. Nerds are now our celebrated tastemakers, just ask Mark Zuckerberg. Hell even thick rimmed glasses, a once stereotypically key component of the nerd uniform have become the ultimate fashion accessary.

Deacon’s nerd credentials are legit. Well schooled as a graduate in electro-acoustic and computer music composition, a breakthrough album unashamedly titled Spiderman of the Rings and a pair of spectacles that’d look at home on Rick Moranis in ‘Honey I Shrunk the Kids’. His high energy, participation compulsory live shows convert too cool for school, arms folded hipsters into giddy, eager to please children whose self consciousness has yet to develop and corrupt their ability to let it all hang out.

August 27 sees the release of America his first album for Domino Records and the initial taste of it comes to us via single True Thrush. It’s both immediately identifiable as a Deacon track and brimming with fresh ideas. Dense layers of hyperactive noises that crank along like the mechanisms of a souped up cuckoo clock in magnified detail, somehow working together to create a well oiled device. His ability to present these inhuman sounds in such a euphorically warm piece of music is stunning. It’s more eccentric samples that might come off as grating on their own become charming idiosyncrasies in conjunction with the lush harmonies here that every fan will be dying to lend their own voice to in the communal setting of his live gigs.

Deacon comes off as a nutty professor type whose off the wall experimentation has lead him to a discovering a very special formula. You get the feeling he could play conductor to a symphony of wind up toys and make it sound like a joyous celebration. The genius is the method behind the madness.